I HAVE A 16 Y/O NEPHEW THAT MY WIFE AND I HAVE BEEN CARING FOR THE PAST 3 YEARS. HE HAS DEVELOPED INTO ONE OF THE BEST BASEBALL PLAYERS IN THE STATE AND WAS RECENTLY SELECTED TO PLAY ON A NATIONAL 16 Y/O TRAVEL TEZM THAT WILL PLAY IN NATIONAL TOURNAMENTS OVER THE SUMMER. HE MADE A VERY POOR DECISION AT SCHOOL AND IS NOT ALLOWED TO PARTICIPATE OR ATTEND ANY SPORTS EVENTS FOR THE REMAINDER OF THE SCHOOL YEAR. SHOULD I ALLOW HIM TO PLAY ON THE TRAVEL TEAM OVER THE SUMMER?
The opportunity does not come often to play on those teams. He seems to be getting punished already, though I don't know the details of what he has done.
.....That's your MOVE.....you pay the cost to be the boss...under your roof ....your RULES!!...peace...we out... ... ... .....got to take flight....and again...you are the BOSSSSsssssssss......
I think he should because if you don't, sometimes they don't ask again. Trust me, been in that situation! Punish him with other stuff but that is an opportunity of a lifetime to get exposure at an early age. The sooner the better! Real Talk
THANKS 911..HIS STORY IS HE PAID ANOTHER YOUNG MAN $20.00 TO STEAL A PAIR OF BASETBALL SHOES (TEAM SHOE) AND HE WORE THE SHOES A COUPLE MONTHS LATER.
seriously....that's a once in a life thing for a kid,but I do understand about the school thing...that is called for some serious sit down and talk time....
Yes you should! I'm a school Resource officer here in the Derby-City. For one of the high school that has been lable by the community because its in a bad part of the city.A Black community I'm the asst baseball coach here we have all most a all black team.We have Six non-Black. But one of the black kids got in trouble for his freshmen year and play for one of those teams. And made a name for him self now the principal want the head coach to put him back on the team.But the kid don't want to because he still get letter from major colleges.So don,t hold him back on one mess up.That might be a blessing our a sign from god.To never make a bad choice again. Give him another chance to do the right thing.
Definitely let him play. I was thinking he did something a little more than that. Not to make little of that, but how many of us has bought stolen merchandise before. Again he was wrong, but the punshment does not fit the crime.
He might one day be able to buy shoes for every kid in the neighborhood to deter others from doing the same thing.
I'm going through the same thing with my 15yrs old son today, he's very talent in Tracks,Football, and Basketball, everybody want him, but he choose to go the other route, staying in trouble with his buddy, We as parents today punish him, did all we can for him or with him, other then drop kick him, take it from a parent that going through it with her 15yrs old son, people can tell you what to do with him, or how to do, what to say to him, but he have to make that choices on his own, you can let him do that, but who to say that, he will stick with it. That my opinion as a parents on that situation. They have to be in your shoes to see it. I been there. Its hard as parents.
I agree with the board, allow him to play, but set rules. As it was mentioned by 911, he sounds as though he is already being punished, but thats with the school. Now you and your wife should place punishment at home and he how he follows through between now and the time he is to play. If he has proven himself, then you and your wife can only be happy for him, but if he hasnt then I wouldnt allow him to play. Doesnt seem to be a very bad thing he did, but it was wrong. You have a smart nephew. He knew at least not to steal them himself....
YEA BALL OR FALL HE WAS SMART FOR NOT STEALING THEM HIMSELF, BUT A BIG DUMMY FOR WEARING THEM BACK TO THE SCENE OF THE CRIME. ITS LIKE THE KIDS TODAY HAVE NO COMMON SENSE. I MAY GET CRUCIFIED ON THIS BOARD FOR SAYING THIS, BUT THIS WHOLE HIP HOP CULTURE IS RUINUNG OUR YOUTH. DONT GET ME WRONG I LISTEN GO SOME OF IT MAINLY FOR THE BEATS, BUT THESE KIDS TRY TO LIVE IT AND MAKE IT THEIR GOD...
Confused, that is the big difference. I too listen to the music for the beat. If the beat doesnt get me, I go no further with the song. Kids today listen to the lyrics and try and live them out. I work as a social worker, so I know how you feel. But most of the families I work with, dont involve themselves in their kids lives the way they should. Its like they send their kids to school and hope that the school can change them from the "bad" kid that they are at home. Confused, where are you located?
IM IN ATLANTA...HE WANTED AN IPOD FOR CHRISTMAS, I LOOKED AT HIM LIKE HE WAS CRAZY..NO BECAUSE OF THE PRICE, BUT BECAUSE HE WOULD HAVE OVER 500 GARBAGE (NEGATIVE, DEGRADING) SOME GOING TO HIS BRAIN DAY IN AND DAY OUT. THEY DONT UNDERSTAND WHAT GOES IN YOU EARS, EYES AND OUT YOU MOUTH IS WHAT YOU WILL BE.
I feel you. I have my 16-year-old nephew living with me as well, but it has more of a positive turn for him. Your nephew sounds like a smart kid. They are going to continue to test their boundaries. Continue to do what you do and make sure that he understands where the line is drawn. Looking at the kids today, thank God that it wasn’t something like we be seeing on TV. The reason I mentioned earlier about allowing him to play is because, like before, he is already being punished by the school and if he starts to feel that everyone is coming down on him then it may have an adverse effect. But, you know him better then we do and this advice is only advice. It’s obvious that you are doing a good job.
He had to do something serious not to be able to attend things for the rest of the year so depending on the severity of his actions then take it from there.....if you allow him to play there needs to be other consequenses set in place because at this age if you let him get away with something.....he will try to continue this pattern of misbehaving....so I just approach the situation with caution!!!!!1
The thing he did is the worst kind of stealing thats out there.....He paid someone else to steal a pair of shoes.....Wrong is wrong.....If you don't shut it down now there will be problems in the future....if he is as good as you say there will always be next year.....The young man knew the consequenses if he got caught and didn't care...He also know his talent and like Marcus Vick ....just don't care....there might be some hidden issues you need to address.............therapist!!!!!1
#15...I feel you. I really believe there are some deeper issues and therepy is my next step. This kid has come a long way since he has been living with us. Some of it has to do with his age (I think we all did stupid stuff at 16), but a lot has to do with his childhood. If only known him 5 yrs. He's only seen his father once or twice. He tells everyone he meets, im his father which I have no problem with. No offence to BASA, but I don't want to see him on the circuit any time soon (or locked up)! He needs to be playing college ball or in somebody minor league system.
I think it is rather extreme for the school to suspend him for the entire season. (of course I'm going only by the 'info' you provided.)
The Summer is many months away__ Monitor his school activities, if he shows remorsement and/or behavior improvements, you may regret your a swift decision.
To make a decision now would be a mistake--he made a mistake--give him proper time to correct it.
Fall and Ball, I disagree on that, do you have a teenager, I'm tired of people saying,I know how you feel, how do you know, if you never been through with it. I'm not getting on you, but some people really just don't know, until you go through with it. Social Worker is good with children, but not that good. I just disagree.
Ball or Fall, I'm sorry, I got your name wrong,
same thing happened to in school except mine was a fight that had nothing to do with me my dad did not let me play and that team won everything that summer while i was at home doing the yard cleaning out the garage stupid stuff like that and i would be ****ed if i am not trying to win at everything since then
In case you missed it. I am raising my 16 year old nephew as well. SO my opinion comes from a professional and personal aspect.
Also Gina, what part of what I said do you disagree with?
confused this is also the age when he want some answers and want to know .....WHY....My advise to you is to LOVE and LOVE him hard because he is confused right now just like you are.....You have to putyourself in his shoes...No mom , no dad,.....what do he have.....I've been there personally and thats not a good feeling and alot of the things I did was for some attention....because he probably didn't even need the shoes....he did it just to see if he could get some kid to do it now guess what...He have much respect from many kids...So monitor closely....and again be a good role model but also be extremely firm because consistency and LOVE is what he needs!!!!!1
I DID NOT MISS ANYTHING IT IS WHAT MY DAD DID TO TEACH ME A LESSON AND I QUIT PLAYING BASEBALL ALL IM SAYING IS LET HIM PLAY BALL TAKE EVERYTHING ELSE AWAY AND WHEN HE MAKES IT TO THE NEXT LEVEL AND THEN GETS PAID HE WILL THANK YOU AND APPRECIATE YOU MORE THAN NOT LETTING HIM PLAY AND RESENTING YOU I WOULD RATHER SEE HIM GETTING PAID TO PLAY THEN BE LIKE US PAYING TO PLAY SOFTBALL
DAVID BLACKWELL 00
Speaking as a coach my mind say let the kid play. Speaking as a parent of a three kids a 12,10 & 2 years old, i say no he don't play. That is just my opinion. If it was my kid i would surely lean toward letting him play. But what examples are we setting for the kids if we do let them play. We must teach our kids that we are not rewarded for the wrongs we do in life.
I disagree on the parts that, when you say that, It how you raise your childrens, coming from not spending time with them, that not true. Me and my husband spend all the time in the world when they was smaller, but they have they own mind when they becomes teenages. We gave them the World, anything they ask for, they got, but my 15yrs old choose different. I'm sorry about that, I didn't know you was raising a 16 yrs. old
My statement is not to go across all boarders. I know that all cases are different but what I was saying or meaning, is the families I work with that seems to be the issue. So, Im not saying that any kid that does something bad its the fault of the home. I would never stereo-type all homes that way, but some people are like that. Also, I dont know if this is appropriate on this board, but I work with mostly white families. We all know that black families raise their children alot different then white families. So,Gina, keep doing your thing. I know you are going to keep him in line.
As a parents, I agrees with Nodout22
The point Im making is if you're going to punish him, punish him now instead of waiting until the summer. Give him something to work for. If the event is not until the summer then ground him now and make him earn his chance to participate in the summer. If you tell him now that he will not participate in the summer, then you are prolonging his punishment. Then their is a "possiblity" that the behavior may get worse due to the kid thinking that "I'm not going to be able to play anyways".
Thanks for that Ball or Fall, Those that knew me very well, know that I will keep them in Line, I will put the on his a$$. . Shneke, tell them girl
Take it from another parent of a 16 year old. Kids are going to make mistakes. We need to spend more time talking to them, encouraging them and leading by example. I am sure that you have set the standards in your household. However, decide if the decision that you make will affect the rest of his life or if it's something that he can live without. Every household is different. What works in yours may not work in mine. Is there some other form of punishment you can give him? Think about it, he has already received his punishment. He can no longer play sports at school and his repetition has been damaged and I know his pride is hurt!! Stand by him this time. Encourage him not to make DUMB choices in the future. Discipline with LOVE!!! I don't like tough Love.
whatever you do, be sure to dicuss it with your wife and be in agreeance, the last thing you need is this to start a disagreement between you and her as well
All of you have given me very valuable advice and I do apprieciate that. My wife and I have not discussed if we will allow him to play yet. Its really going to depend on him and how he conducts himself over the next few months and I have told him that. He has gotten a job since his suspension and seems to be heading in the right direction. As a former professional baseball player myself, I understand the importance of playing on a good travel team and the exposure you receive from college and pro scouts. But I also know the importance of having CHARACTER. Being a young black man with no character,will get him nowhere.