Dear Mark and Amy,
Is it possible to have a healthy relationship with someone on the circuit?

Mark
I do believe that it's possible to have a healthy relationship with someone on the circuit. Under the right conditions and mindset, anythings possible. A strong man meets an even stronger woman. The areas in which he's weak she's strong and vice versa. They complete each other. It can happen, but only if both parties are ready to trade in their player cards. Most, however, are not!!! Some act committed Monday thru Thursday, becoming complete "Ho's" Friday, Saturday, and parts of Sunday! During the long ride home they become devoted again!

For men, it's has to be a perfect alignment of our priorities: Family, Finances, Hormones, etc....

Awesome women can come into our lives, but if we're not "ready" it doesn't happen. Women, have you ever broken up with a guy that was afraid of commitment? He wasn't ready!!! Then he turns around and get married to the next stray that enters his life. He was ready!!!


Amy
Yes it is possible, but that someone has to be totally committed to you. I think the reason most of these circuit flings go on is because the wife or husband sit at home and don't support what the other does. Meaning they don't come to the park, like the park, and don't want to be at the park. I feel you need someone that likes the same things you do and if they don't at least the will support what you like. How can you expect the other to believe you when you say you've been playing ball until 2 or 3 in the morning if they haven't ever experienced it themselves. They won't, so therefore in order to keep a happy healthy relationship, we need to find mates that have similar interest or just willing to support the other in whatever it may be.



******************
Dear Mark and Amy,
Should your better players be treated better financially than others when it is supposed to be about team.

Mark
Should your better players be treated better financially than others when it is supposed to be about team.

"Get In Where You Fit In". If this player is worth it, then the coaching staff should do what ever it takes to make that person comfortable and committed to your team. What his teammates don't know won't bother them!! Better players (Pitchers, Middle Infielder, Clutch Hitters) can decided the outcomes of games instantly. You have to have them if you plan on winning. Name a winning team that isn't strong in these areas.

Winning teams find ways to make them happy! Be it a little gas money, a hotel room, dinner, or a little pocket change, so be it! The problem arises when these perks become common knowledge. What's done under the table should remain there. Though it may not be fair, wake up and smell the coffee, it's been going on for ages in every sport imaginable. Never will everyone to be on the same level and treated evenly on a winning team!

Amy
No I don't think they should, because they can't win a game by themselves. It takes 10 players to win, and no one monkey can stop a show. If you have a player that feels that way I say you need to kick him to the curb or take a minute and think,: if this player was really that good, then they would be on one of the top teams with great sponsorship like: Enough Said, Derrty, Atlanta Storm, or even Class Act. Now these type teams would have recruited this player and maybe paid him or some type of expenses. Like I said, kick the player to the curb, you may be able to get 2 for the price of 1.



******************
Dear Mark and Amy,
My husband and I divorced 2 years ago. We do have kids together and get along great. However, he has said that no man other than himself can discipline our kids. I don't think this is right. The guy that I am seeing now is a great guy, he even says so, so if he ever disciplined them it will be justified. This is going to be a major problem, HELP!

Mark
There is more than one form of discipline. Losing privileges, athletics, friends, etc... If you are referring to spankings and beatdowns, when the situation arises you all will just have to deal with it.

As a child, when I made mistakes I had to pay the piper. With my children, the same is true. I'll try alternative methods of discipline, but when pleading and reasoning fail, I must do what I must do! Your ex-husband has to understand that discipline is a must, not an option! Our kids, when discipline is not administered, become statistics. Suspensions, arrests, and eventually deaths. My children can fear/respect me and get all the love/compassion from their mother. DADDY DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT!! When it's all done, I hope that they understand! I do what I think is in their best interest. Your ex-husband, if he was truly concerned about who's disciplining your children, would have made things worked and would still be there!

Amy
First off, you, your husband, and your new man need to sit down and talk about this. Your husband needs to be the bigger man in the situation. He should be able to feel that you wouldn't have your kids around any ole scrub, and that any decision you make would be the best one for the kids. He has to know that yes the kids do need some type of discipline while away from him, not saying the man should beat the children, but every child needs discipline, two: if the mother plans on being with this new guy, then the kids are gonna have to respect him just as they do the father. The husband shouldn't expect the new man to let the kids just run over him, and that's exactly what they will do if he doesn't show some type of discipline. You are a mother, you know when enough is enough and how far to take things. I'm pretty sure you wouldn't let anyone over step the boundaries when it comes to your children. The husband and the new guy have to feel comfortable with one another or things will always be crazy. Just try to ensure your husband that he should know this new man wouldn't do anything to harm your children.




******************
Dear Mark and Amy,
How much softball is too much softball?

All weekend, league three nights a week, and coed on Fridays. On those days that you don't actually have a game, you lift weights, hit for two hours, drink for three hour after that and then run your mouth with the fellas for one more.

In the off season, you hit 3-4 days a week after your workout. You talk all day about the upcoming season from the time you wake up, thru your lunch break, and even after you finally get off work. Your girl is in the mood, but you still on the phone late at night trying to explain what went wrong at BASA and USSSA Worlds.

Your wife/girlfriend is telling you about the two-piece nightie she just bought and all freaky things she and her best friend want to do to you, yet you can only think about when is that new Easton bat coming out.

Your insulin and Viagra supply just ran out, but you still have two unused canisters of Muscle Milk. You have the flu, but didn't want to pay for the flu shot. Yet you spent last weeks paycheck on steroids and needles.

Your kids need formula and diapers, but you just spent your last dime loading up the cooler with Budlights and wine coolers. Your rent is due and so is the tournament entry fee, yet you decide you'll be looking for a new apartment when you get back from balling cause you don't really like the one your in now. You catch the bus to and from school/work on a daily basis, yet you rent cars each weekend to drive to various BASA tournaments.

Your shoes are dirty and have holes in them, yet your Puma/3N2/Nike/Adidas turfs match every uniform you have. If more than two of these describe you.... YOU ARE PLAYING TOO MUCH SOFTBALL!!!!

Mark "Tell The Whole Truth" X

PS. To my female fan, I am the kind of man you want to take home to meet your mother. And to my male haters that think I'm too soft, better keep your girl close.

X MARKS THE SPOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mark

Amy:
Too much softball is when you have these bums traveling to tournaments expecting players, coaches, and friends to buy their food, rooms, and so on. Too much softball is when you go play and you can't ever pay your part of the tournament fee or help on the gas. Too much softball is when everyone from the NORTH, SOUTH, EAST, and WEST know you, but your team has never won or came close to winning a tournament that would get you recognized. Now that's too much softball for your @ss.

Amy “Tell it like it is” Shakur

Man I think you guys stepped on some toes with this one. But I agree with most of what you said.

That one was really good. Keep up tha great work Mark, & Amy.

Dear Mark and Amy
What if you do support your significant other, even though you don't play. You attend all the weekend games and some thru the week, and do all you can to help and they still don't get that it's time to settle down. They talk a good game, but they want to do it on there time seem like. How long do they think you should wait?

C. Luv

Great question for next week. We'll keep it in the archives.

"AAAYYYYY"....MARK...that's stepping it up a notch..clap,clap,clap.....and AMY...girl you are STRAIGHT 2 the POINT and "That's a GOOD THING"...and P.S......MARK...We The MEN of the BOARD...are not HATING...we just wanted you to be GUTTER,no sugar please....get it...and As far as you being a threat to someone's Girl...WATCH YOUR OWN....Mr.IDEA man last week,now you're a PLAYA...HMMM"CHURCH"

Dear Mark and Amy,
Not to make my question longer, but just to let you know. I do in-town and out of town games supporting his hopes and dreams in softball, not to mention doing the cold towels in the cooler & dust in my hair in the summer time, hot chocalate in the fall on cold days and nights. How long is a sister supposed to wait for loveball from her significant other.

i'M SURE HE STILL CARES ABOUT YOU IF I THINK I KNOW WHO YOU ARE.

mR. Know
Who are you? Give me a clue.