Dear Mark and Amy,

Getting married soon. 1 bank account or 2 bank accounts. Both have excellent credit, income levels virtually the same.

Mark: I've learned over the years, that the best thing to do is have a discussion with your significant other and get their input. Always ask, this can prevent lots of problems along the way. In my household, having two accounts has works best for us. I make monthly deposits into her account to take care of my portion of "our" bills and I use my money to pay "my" bills. Do understand that there's a huge difference. Cell phone, credit cards, student loans, etc.... She had little to do with the accumulation of their balances, so I shouldn't put the burden of dealing with them on my spouse. I would suggest two!

Amy: Although most people think that getting married means everything becomes one, its not always the best idea. What I would suggest is each of you having your own separate account and then have a joint account which you both contribute to whether it be an account for bills, vacation, saving, or just to be able to say "We have an account together."







Dear Mark and Amy,


Please help. My significant other plays on a men's team that plays all the time. My problem is, one of his teammates is always eyeing me when he knows no one is watching. He has never said anything, but I can
sense that he wants to. I have no interest in him whatsoever, what should I do. Should I say something to my man or should I say something to him, or just keep quiet.

Mark: From a male point of view, men like to throw subtle hints to check if there's any interest. Many strong women know how to ignore these "come-ons" and let men know that there's no chance of a hook up!!

Weak women will nibble and the subtle hints will later become strong, overt pick up lines. I'd suggest remaining strong, and ignoring these hints. Be true to your man and onlookers will just admire the love that
you two have for each other. Eventually he'll get the message and move on to the next possible victim.

Getting your man involved might lead to an ugly confrontation between the two of you and most certainly the two of them.


Amy: First off, you need to ask yourself do you enjoy the other guy flirting with you behind your significant other's back, or are you doing something to make him think he may be able to get with you? If so then do what you do and don't get caught, but if not, first off you need to step to this other guy and put him in check yourself, and if the problem doesn't resolve itself after that, then you take it to your man. Try to resolve those type issues yourself first before you take it to your man, because believe me the man will more than likely respect you a whole lot more if you were to let him know you don't like what he's doing, but most men tend to do the things they do because the woman won't say anything or she will just sit and smile, grin, and smirk. STAND UP FOR YOURSELF, PUT HIM IN CHECK if you want it to stop.






Mark: Why do the men on the circuit feel its ok to and tell about every woman they mess with while on the circuit?

Most of the time, it's actually like that pass the message game that You used to play in grade school. It happens, he tells his closest "road dogg" and ask him to not tell anyone. That person then tells one his friends and the snowballs start an avalanche. Pretty soon it Eventually get back to ears closely related to the young lady and she's now "out there".

On a few occasions guy just like to boast of the conquest in an effort to make themselves seem larger than life. If he really had sense, he'd wait until 2:00 or 3:00 in the morning, when most watching eyes are asleep, kiss, and tell no one. She might come back for more!!!

I've actually heard that the letters BASA stood for BEST ALL-Around Sexual Atmosphere. Some like to play on the "Black" Circuit because every weekend is like a family reunion where you can sleep with your 4th or 5th cousins. I, for one, focus on softball. I'd rather make it to Sunday, than have a night to remember! I can do that when I get home!! As a matter of fact, Mama's calling for me now! PEACE OUT!! Until Next
Wednesday!

Mark "Tell the Whole Truth" X.



Amy: Why do the women these men knowing they will get talked about, or knowing the man is already either married or messing with their teammate?

The men that usually run there mouth are usually those who've been rejected and didn't like it, but for the others, they feel they are going to get a pat on the back from the boys if they let them know who they had for the weekend not knowing that the man sitting next to him has already more than likely been there and done that so it won't be nothing to brag about.

And for the women who choose to sleep around more times than they play ball on the weekend with these talking females, you get what you deserve. Be more selective in who you choose to lay down with. You know these men can't hold water and most of them come out just to see how many homeruns they can get with the women because they already know their not man enough to get any during the game. So women, again just be more selective if you don't want to be put in the LOSER'S BRACKET for the weekend, or if all else fells, FLIP THE SCRIPT. Talk bad about his 2007 MAYHEM that hits like a 10 year old EASTON. NOW YOU DO THE MATH.

Amy “Tell It Like It Is” Shakur

BASA,

Can we respond now.

Feel free to respond.

First, Mark

I'm feeling you on everything but the bank accounts. I think it is a mans place to take care of the household, so all of the money should go to one account and the head of the household(the man) should dole it out as neccessary.

Second, Amy
I disagree with her trying to handle that buster herself. Because if she sets him straight, old dude is going to try and flip the script because he will be scared she is gonna say something. My girl better tell me if some fake brother is trying to step to her and that is the realest of the talk!

Player you seem to me like you are a male chauvinist.

Player I cant agree with you on the bank accounts. I feel that the house is a shared dome of the two peoples love. I want my woman to walk side by side of me not behind me or in front of me. I also want my woman to know the household situation just in case something happens to me. I want us to share all responsibilities so if I ever have to leave town on business she knows exactly what to do. Plus, I wouldnt have to feel as though all the pressure is on me. Its her money as well, so she should be apart of the spending of it.

This will be good..."YYEAAAAA"

Church,

why don't you chime in as well on at least one of these topics.Put some church on it.

Player: I will do that for you...I just want 2 make sure I church and real talk....I hold no punches ALSO..."CHURCH"

Hi Mark this is to you, why do you think mens need to be the head of the bank account, or head of the household? To me i think that can go both ways, I been with my husband for 24 years, I alway been head of our bank account since we been together. So it can gose both way.

Gina, your right it can go both ways as far as handeling the money, but shouldn't the man be the head of the household? I am not saying in anyway that he is a dictator or anything like that cause some women have a better understanding of the finances. I think that the key to most problems that married people have is understanding and communication. Just like the problem with the man playing a lot of ball and one of his team mates is eyeing his woman. If they have a good understanding and good communication then the man will trust his woman to do the right thing. If that means handeling it herself or just making sure that she is not throwing out mixed signals herself. Just my thoughts

Clay (911),

I'm really feeling this new feature! I feel as if we gon' be talking all week about Mark and Amy.

To Mark, I must agree with you! In my household, we have two accounts I use my account for softball purposes. My wife's a lot more organized than I am, so she handles the bills and believe me I'm cool with that. If it were up to me, all bills would be paid on the day of if not late. We'd always be paying late fees.

To Amy, Keep dispensing good advice. I'm sure lots of brotha's out there still trying to swing those no-return, not in production anymore, 10 year old Easton.

WB #24

"AAAYYYY"...What's Up? MARK & AMY...Now...on the SAME BANK ACCOUNT thing....I must agree with AMY: that you should have your own account and have one 2gether is about the best thing going....keeps the conflicts down..maybemaybe not... ,with the way LIFE is NOW...you better have something....here 2day,gone 2morrow...1 point AMY....NEXT..."your man on the team thing....hmmmm...that is problem..but I must agree with AMY: YOU either enjoy attention or you don't...and Stand up nip it in the bud...before it becomes personal...I've seen ball players mess up teams,trying 2 date and flirt within the "CHICKEN HOUSE"it's not healthy for either party...and AMY,that's 2 for you.....and KISS and TELL...it's simple...If you talk you walk...If you're quiet there's much more in it...and sometimes...well I'll save MY question for next session...Mark your views are cool, but it seems you are a little soft..don't take it personal...but I expected more "REAL TALK" than a BILL COSBY vision....AMY,AMY,AMY....You will have the Board jumping....You are CUT THROAT and "REAL TALK" and You seem 2 know your WAR ZONE well....AND THAT"S a GOOD THING.... ...."CHURCH"

Amy,

Both of you held it down and dispensed some good advice. Amy way to hold it down for the females. Mark, you are the man every woman wants to take home to mama.

I thought this was for entertainment purposes only, but you two take your roles very seriously I see.

What up Exodue #4, yes I think that the mens sure be head of household and handling the money, but I think I do a little better job in finances the money and bills, and yes we do have that understanding and commuication with the money and me playing softball,and yes he truth me to do the right things. That why we still together.

I agree with Amy, both should have their own separate accounts and then a joint account. You never know what may happen, he or she may get mad and want to leave and the first one to the bank is the winner. Anyway I think all women should have an account of their own just for emergencies: shopping, hair, road trips, or just to flat out get away.
And to the woman with the flirting guy, handle your own business, if every woman told their man every time another brother tried to hollar at them, there wouldn't be any peace. BASA Family. I also liked that BASA thing that Mark said: BEST ALL-AROUND SEXUAL ATMOSPHERE. NOW THATS REAL TALK.
We should all remember that, that thing called AIDS is out there and VERY REAL. Chill out.

Player, I have seen situations when the MAN can't balance the checkbook right and bills go unpaid or late. There should be no one person In charge just becuase of their gender. It really all boils down to communication. I like everything our "therapists" of the board had to say, especially about if that person gets a kick out of her mans team mate flirtng with her, becuase that is oh so true.

HEEEEYYYY that's a good thing Gina, big up's to you and your's. Do me a favor though keep lifting your man up as I'm sure he lifts you up. I'm glad to see you give your man his props. We hear so often of how our black men aint no good and that they dead beat dads. So thats why I say lift him up.

Yes it's the man's responsibility to take care of the household but by the same token don't put all your in one . You need always to have something in case of divorce or separation, In one account she will get it all

Guys it isnt always the woman who makes out like a fat rat in child support issues, and divorce. And this is first hand, because of the reply about putting all your eggs in one basket. My ex's mother told ME that. I didnt listen, he almost broke us with his habits. Two accounts are better for all the reason indicated. Why not have a his, her's and ours. If the man really wants to step up he matches are goes a beyond what she puts in to OUR's

Plain and simple. Three accounts. Two individual accounts and one house account. The census in my office of the married and involved couples is that the seperate accounts makes for easier times. Just because we have seperate accounts doesnt mean you still cant have what I got and vice versa.

Great comments, and great idea Mark and Amy! This is the type of thing we should take advantage of with this message board. Getting ideas and suggestions about a wide variety of topics is definitely healthy.

To the sister dealing with her man's teammate that has "roving eyes". Don't bring your man into it if you don't have to, tell the brother yourself that he's making you uncomfortable and make sure he hasn't read you the wrong way. If he continues after that then he's being disrespectful and do what you have to do. COACH D OUT!

Thanks to all of our readers and your responses, we look forward to next week.

Mark and Amy