It is difficult to let my children make decisions that I dont agree with,I have a sixteen year old daughter who believes in vampires and is curious about wicca and is searching for her answers in life, I stand beside her and try to gently guide as I feel at this point to react to her with anger would only increase her curiosities.I have been gently nudgeing her towards mysticism and God and showed her how to meditate,I am overjoyed by her receptiveness and intelligence I trust she will make her way ...I also have a 13 y/o son who is curious about voodoo ugh!!!I am trying.... Pray hard for mothers these days its getting tougher to guide our children through all thats out there

Margaret,
As a parent myself, I understand your worries. A wise person said to me once, that once you are a parent, your life is not totally your own anymore. It is hard not to worry about our children, but we should remember: when we are worrying, we are also concentrating, and by concentrating, we may bring about what we are trying to avoid.
As a worrier myself, I find it helpful to focus on the things we want to happen, not on the things we dont want to happen. For example, when my son got his license to drive, my hair started going from dark to grey. Whenever he would be out somewhere driving, instead of worrying about him getting in an accident, I would visualize him returning home safely. This is hard to do at first, but with repeated practice,(and believe me you will get many opportunities to practice) it gets easier. I hope this helps you some. I feel our children are our special charge, and the best we can do is let them know they are loved, show them by living example of the traits we want them to develop, and give them some credit for figuring out things for themselves. Again, it is hard for me sometimes to step back and let them learn for themselves, without being overprotecting. It is in the proper balance between the extremes of being a worrywart, or not caring at all.
BALANCE! I am finding that concept applies in many areas of life. Good Luck,and best wishes in your childrens upbringing.
Gary

Between both of us and the Forum, I received an e-mail from a 16 year old girl who wanted to find out about vampires - in fact she was afraid to find out that they did not exist. I told her the truth, that they do not exist, and that in a small number of mentally deranged persons, believe they are vampires. Maybe your son will ask about black magic. I will try to lead him in the right direction. This is a small world.

Your daughter being into Wicca and your son being interested in Woodoo isn't necessarily a tragedy. First off, I'd say the best thing about that is that they are obviously not shallow materialists. They are seekers. They are looking for some spiritual foundation for their lives. That's, essentially, a good thing. How that turns out is a question of who they come into contact in that quest. Wicca and Woodoo are basically alternative religions for people in the Western world who can't abide by Christianity. A good Wiccan lives by a strict moral code that includes a love of nature, reverence for the "female" energies of the universe, and seeking of communion with the great Goddess. Granted, there are some screwed up people involved in Wiccan groups, and there are people with twisted motivations for seeking out that religion. Again, it all comes down to what kind of influence the people your daughter gets involved with have on her. Of course, it could be that your daughter is a rebellious youth and would rather you leave her alone, but if your relationship with her is still good and you communicate with her, you could take an interest and look at the kinds of books that are available on Wicca, and buy some for her that appear to you to teach sound spiritual practices. I'm sure she'll read them, and in the process of looking through those books (as Bill Cosby used to say at the beginning of every "Cosby Kids" cartoon), if you don't watch out, you might learn something!

The same could be said of Woodoo, though I fully understand your distaste of the whole subject. But, it is a religion, and the point of Woodoo is also communion with spiritual realities, even if it does strike us as weird and primitive.

I recently had the privilege of attending a "Mystical Day" here in Hungary, at which Imperator Christian Bernard was one of the guests. At the end of the day, there was a forum, at which people could ask Frater Bernard and other AMORC officers questions. One of the questions was "How does one distinguish between true masters and false masters." He said that the essential difference is that false masters promote themselves and declare themselves to be the sole source of truth and knowledge. But then he said something that set lots of people to thinking. He said that he didn't want to identify any false masters or false organizations, because, first of all, AMORC never passes judgement on the spiritual pursuits of other people and organizations, and secondly, these people and organizations serve their purpose in attracting and awakening people who have spiritual aspirations. He said that quite often after being disappointed by their experiences with these people and organizations, they end up searching further and finding the Rosicrucian path.

So, I see it as a good sign that your children are seeking. Albeit, my children are eight, six and three, and I haven't had to deal with that yet.

That having been said, I have to tell you something of my own spiritual evolution.

I grew up a good little Catholic boy, the son of a devout German emigrant mother. In the late sixties, after Vatican II, my mother's best friend persuaded her to join AMORC. What had already been a tension between my mother's traditional expectations of the church and what it had become, got pushed into a full-blown crisis by the awakening that came from the teachings of the order. I was around 13 when my mother finally abandoned the church. Freed from dogma, I experimented with being and "atheist". In retrospect, I don't really think I meant it, it was just the pendulum swinging to the opposite pole from my religious upbringing. Then I started smoking pot and experimenting with drugs and experienced states that I could only describe as mystical. I realized that reality was not what our materialistic society said it was.

In the spring of '75, when I was 16, I noticed a store on the edge of WVU campus, on my route home from school, had become an occult bookstore called "The Philosopher's Stone."

I walked in an started to peruse the shelves. A man, all dressed in black (it wasn't a fashion yet, back then), with red hair, a full red beard and a huge copper seven-pointed star hung around his neck, walked up to me. He had a twisted spine which made him walk sort of like a crab. He came uncomfortably close to me and asked, "may I help you?" I took one look at him and got spooked. I said something and beat a track out the door.

I was bothered by the reaction I'd had to this man, and some days later I went back in to talk to him. The feeling that had scared me was the knowledge that I was meeting my destiny. I had a karmic connection to this man. He became my teacher. He's press books in my hand and told me to read them.

I could write thousands of words (and have in my journals) about my relationship to this man. But I'll just say that he opened my eyes. I learned about the Golden Dawn, and Aleister Crowley, and kaballah, and many other subjects. The odd thing was that due to his appearance and to the fact that this was a small town in the bible belt, he had a reputation as a black magician, a drug dealer and a Satanist. But the truth was that he'd also grown up a devout catholic, and he always made a point of impressing upon me that The Great Work was all about attaining knowledge of the divine. He often talked of God.

My parent's marriage fell apart when I was eighteen, and my mother fell in love with a German man, and decided to go back to Germany with him. I didn't want to live with my father, and requested that I could live with my "teacher." My mother had heard about this man and his reputation. I told her what he was really like, as far as I knew him. My mother said she had to meet him in order to make any kind of judgement.

When they met, my mother made clear to him that her orientation to spiritual matters was defined by the fact that she was a Rosicrucian, a member of AMORC. He told her he was also a member. It turns out that he'd been a member, but a "bad" Rosicrucian. He paid his dues and received the mongraphs, but didn't read them regularly and didn't really hold sanctum. My mother said she'd give her blessings to my relationship to this man, under the condition that he made every effort to lead me into AMORC. He was good to his word and I joined when I turned eighteen.

My early involvement with AMORC was spotty. I held sanctum and sometimes went to lodge, but there was too much interference from my other interests. The chief interference came from my study of Crowley. The two systems are incompatible. AMORC teaches the middle path, avoiding extremes. The teachings of Crowley advocate excess. AMORC teaches humility and service. Crowley teaches arrogance, severity and exclusiveness.

It wasn't just Crowley. I had my hands into too many pies. I was not concentrated.

After a failed marriage, and a less than shining undergraduate career, I went off to California for graduate school. In an effort to recover from the mess I'd made of my life, I tossed all western mysticism. I got involved in the martial art of aikido, and started studying eastern philosophy, especially Buddhism. Eastern philosophy seemed to "clean" and uncomplicated compared to the western tradition.

Fast forward to 1992. After another failed marriage, I decided to come to Hungary and start over in the "Wild East." Life went very well for a number of years. I started having success as a journalist and writer. I got married to a dear woman and had three lovely children. Then life stagnated. I just felt that something was missing.

I found my wife surfing the AMORC website one evening last summer. I asked her why she was looking at it. She said something like she'd just found a link to it and was curious. About a week later I found her surfing the AMORC site again. I said, "You're thinking of joining, aren't you?" She himmed and hawed, trying to deny it. I said it would be good for her. In truth, I had always told her that I had the highest opinion of AMORC, that AMORC's methods definitely get results. I had just decided at some point that "it wasn't my path." Then she came out and said she wanted to join. I said good. And then something inside me said that if she was joining, it was time for me to rejoin. Now I've been active again for half a year, after having been away for twenty years. I've never been happier. I'm actively working with the local AMORC in Hungary (I'm a member of the English Grand Lodge for Europe and Africa), which is trying to grow to the point of having its own Grand Lodge (it under the wing of the Scandinavian Grand Lodge now) and love the feeling of being of service. I've resolved to dedicate myself to the monograph studies and to leave most other mystical studies way in the background at least until I have the AMORC system well ingrained in my being. The monographs give you plenty to do without other studies, at least until you are into the higher degrees. I now have the patience and maturity to wait.

The whole point of this long narrative is to point out that I took all sorts of "wrong turns" earlier in life, and have still arrived at a point where I have become a relatively balanced and mature individual. Your children will have to make mistakes and learn from them. That's one of the hardest things about being a parent: resisting the temptation to try to keep your children from making mistakes. You just have to let them find their own way.