Realistically I don't expect much studying mysticism. I don't have the time or even the apptitude. That is rather sad I guess because I sense deep possibilities. I don't even seem to feel it out to my satisfaction. Mayby that is all I can hope for at this point in time: to experience new feelings. I think emotions and bio-chemistry are linked and not understood very well. They say your mind is all but intermediaries are the very part of physical existance. Hormones - blood chemistry : these are more then nuisances; I think they reflect what we are thinking or doing.
So I hope to experience new feelings or understand the ones I have. And I like to think when I need to fix or heal things I can better relate to the others and not be so surprised if I feel something odd or unfamiliar. Yeah I hate that......the uneasiness ....the not-knowing .....the craziness .....I want to know the universe but I need to EXPERIENCE it too so it won't be such a shock.
It has been likened to going thru a flaming purgatory but I guess that is what it takes to awaken your senses. The feeling won't come over night ....mayby that is just as well.